There is always a dragon nestling inside of us, the kind of dragon who fly and sleep but when pestered, a fireball is blown leading to a destruction. Well, weeks ago mine came out not just with blasting fire but with claws ready to strike someone. Yes, I am sometimes a monster.. You! Me! We are! So why did I wake the dragon inside of me? Or why does it did?
To make the story short, I have a fiery battle with the Dragon king. (Uhmm no, I never tell) When he talks, communicate, command and nags.. HE is always at world war two mode. While having a lovely dinner at home, I smell war already I kept my cool and observe like a warrior, hiding will only take minutes before coming out of the battlefield. So, I was extremely annoyed, angered, provoked, troubled and fierced! I break out and confronted my father! Oops.. did I just said Father? Ahm.. yeah he is the dragon king.
It was first time in my 26 years that I put my armors on and got the nerve to fight with him. ( I know it’s disrespectful and God commanded that Thou shall not dishonor) But I could not take it anymore. Well, I am my father’s daughter and that part of me has that dragon-heart too. HE was stunned upon my transformation and the fire I throw up. I can see in his eyes that HE was badly hurt of the words I let go. HE was more bothered by it than me on my warpath. I was unstoppable and uncontainable. I punched him with all the bad-mouthing he does to the family and to others. All the bitter gourd in me speaks out concerning all of his sour grapes that constantly bothering our home and others. Mother and bro mediated us and I was back into my room slowly getting back on my shaking senses.
I break down and turn to God. Charged myself so guilty of my actions and I ask for forgiveness. I can’t remember how did I turn to sleep that night. The last time I know I was praying.
I even had a nightmare about it. It haunts me down cos I never get over it. I talked to God saying that: Lord, the more I get to know you the more I look within and realize how imperfect and sinful I am. That I lord, can be your enemy. But Lord you always tell to Love your enemy so I know that you still love me. The enemy is not me lord but the evil who provokes. I ask for forgiveness and I depend on your strength and grace to help me overcome the enemy and more like you. I will never be perfectly holy. I can only aspire to be. Slow down the dragon in me lord and let it sleep in your command. Help me to tame my father’s dragon. Allow him to be patient and humble. Help me and my family becomes who and what you want us to be. Help me look at my flaws as an opportunity for you to work in and through me so that people will know you are real and that you are in the miracle of changing and transforming lives. I pray to glorify you through my flaws and failures. Only you Lord, can change me. So please do.. (Randomly and It was a long plea and big tears are with me).
That night, I was in a very deep sleep and my dream flash me back to the time when we are still young. I saw the Tricycad (bisaya term for a 4 wheel bicycle) we often ride that my father drives us on our way to school from our home to the highway so we can ride a jeepney. That was 1 kilometer and he will take another one back home then. I can’t imagine how much effort and hard-work he does pedaling and sometimes being caught by rear breaks and front derailleur problems that he painstakingly handle. I love my Father because more than that, He is very resourceful, smart, skillful man and businessman. I was feeling nostalgic and my heart crushed. Even in my sleep, I was crying.. yes I am very emotional even sleeping. (In emotional dreamland)
Morning comes! I had a gorgeous wake and feels like I was washed away with holy water. Also, the dragon king slows down his tone and moderately guards his actions, but still a dragon. Heeee.. Thank God!
All of us have days like this that we are to release dragon balls. I think its human nature, even when you control it. When you see it coming, PRAY. When you can’t handle it and made big messes. PRAY and repent. The psalmist said, “The Lord will perfect that which concerns me” (138:8). Trust him to turn your inner Flaws into beautiful character.
How do you respond to your dragon? How do you tame it? Tell me, I’d love to hear your interesting transformation. ღ